Debunking Myths

An Assignment for Dr. Ikechukwu Obiaya:

Life is a compendium of experiences, and I have come to discover that you ‘own’ your experiences. On a cool, rainy evening in September, on the 13th precisely, I got married to my friend of 5 years. It was an exciting milestone for us because we had scaled many hurdles, including the prejudiced opinions of many people, to get here; many had thought we would not succeed at marriage because we were not financially stable enough to embark on such a venture.

Despite recorded video evidence, in which we both declared that we would wait two years to have children, I found myself pregnant in the first month of the marriage. I had entered married life as a naivete and knew nothing about how to prevent pregnancy, as difficult as this might be to believe. I have had to learn so many things in marriage. Anyway, with the pregnancy came all sorts of advice from all and sundry. As a first time mother-to-be, I was naturally curious about the changes in my body and a bit anxious about how I would handle the process of labor. I had heard lots of  tales about how excruciatingly painful the experience was, and how first time mothers in particular were known to labor for hours on end, and even days, before they had their babies.  Then a friend gave me a book to read called, Supernatural childbirth  by Jackie Mize. That book revolutionized my thinking on the birth process. It was written from a godly perspective with copious quotes from the Scriptures to back up its claims. As I read it, I began to visualize a smooth, painless and stress free birth experience for myself.

On the 17th of June, 2003, nearly two weeks after my expected date of delivery, I went into labor; contrary to the 3 stages of labor that most delivery books postulate, I only experienced one - the final stage! As soon as the contractions began, I was already ready for the baby’s birth. My husband and mum rushed me to the hospital within minutes of my experiencing tummy cramps, which quickly metamorphosed into regular contractions. As soon as we got to hospital, the nurses chided us a bit for delaying at home, explaining that my baby’s head was already crowning. We barely had time to explain that we had not delayed at all when, less than 30 minutes after our arrival in the hospital, we were welcoming our first daughter into the world. The birth was painful but short and smooth.

I have learnt, through this awe-inspiring experience that, in as much as the experiences of others count, you should not cast them in stone. Yours could be totally different. Contrary to speculations that we were not buoyant enough to get married, 11 years after, we are still standing strong; and contrary to pregnancy myths about childbirth, my own experiences have been radically different. These lessons have stayed, and I am better for having had them.

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