An Assignment for Dr. Ikechukwu Obiaya:
Life is a compendium of
experiences, and I have come to discover that
you ‘own’ your experiences. On a cool, rainy evening in September, on the 13th
precisely, I got married to my friend of 5 years. It was an exciting milestone
for us because we had scaled many hurdles, including the prejudiced opinions of
many people, to get here; many had thought we would not succeed at marriage
because we were not financially stable enough to embark on such a venture.
Despite recorded video
evidence, in which we both declared that we would wait two years to have
children, I found myself pregnant in the first month of the marriage. I had
entered married life as a naivete and knew nothing about how to prevent
pregnancy, as difficult as this might be to believe. I have had to
learn so many things in marriage. Anyway, with the pregnancy came all sorts of
advice from all and sundry. As a first time mother-to-be, I was naturally
curious about the changes in my body and a bit anxious about how I would handle
the process of labor. I had heard lots of tales about how excruciatingly
painful the experience was, and how first time mothers in particular were known to labor for hours
on end, and even days, before they had their babies. Then a friend gave
me a book to read called, Supernatural childbirth by Jackie Mize. That book revolutionized my thinking on the birth
process. It was written from a godly perspective with copious quotes from the Scriptures
to back up its claims. As I read it, I began to visualize a smooth, painless
and stress free birth experience for myself.
On the 17th of June, 2003,
nearly two weeks after my expected date of delivery, I went into labor;
contrary to the 3 stages of labor that most delivery books postulate, I only
experienced one - the final stage! As soon as the contractions began, I was
already ready for the baby’s birth. My husband and mum rushed me to the
hospital within minutes of my experiencing tummy cramps, which quickly metamorphosed into regular contractions. As soon as we got to hospital, the
nurses chided us a bit for delaying at home, explaining that my baby’s head was
already crowning. We barely had time to explain that we had not delayed at all
when, less than 30 minutes after our arrival in the hospital, we were welcoming
our first daughter into the world. The birth was painful but short and smooth.
I have learnt, through this
awe-inspiring experience that, in as much as the experiences of others count,
you should not cast them in stone. Yours could be totally different. Contrary
to speculations that we were not buoyant enough to get married, 11 years after,
we are still standing strong; and contrary to pregnancy myths about childbirth,
my own experiences have been radically different. These lessons have stayed,
and I am better for having had them.
